Men not being able to understand women is a tale as old as time. You may think that you know your wife well, but that does not mean that you are able to read everything about her. In my experience, many men experience extreme shock when they find out their wife wants a divorce. In order to avoid that, here are the top 7 signs your wife wants to leave you.
Some warning signs of your marriage heading towards divorce are easy to spot. Others are only subtle clues that you will need to keep an eye out for. Spotting these signs early will allow you to try and save your marriage. Sometimes, your wife will show signs that she is unhappy. In this case, you have a little more time to make amends. However, her unhappiness will soon turn into a longing for something better, which may cause her to pursue a divorce.
Let’s start by taking a look at a few major signs that your wife will show when she wants to end her relationship with you.
If you want to focus more specifically on your marriage and what we can do to get you both back on track, take the marriage assessment quiz.
Signs Your Wife Wants is Planning to Leave
If you notice one of the following signs, then your marriage is in dire straits. These signs not only tell you that your spouse is unhappy, but that she is also actively thinking of ending her relationship with you.
Here, you want to act as fast as you can. Change both your words and your actions if you don’t want to see your spouse end up with someone else.
If you fail to do something now, it may be too late to save your marriage. In most cases, marriages end on tipping points. What that means is that once your wife is on the edge of wanting to divorce you, it will take very little to push her over it.
She Finds Reasons to Fight You
One of the most common signs your wife wants to leave you is her begging for a fight. A few fights are common in a marriage. After all, when you share your life with each other, it is possible that your spouse does not agree with everything you do (and vice versa).
The problem begins when your wife simply cannot wait for you to give her an excuse to fight. Even a tiny mistake on your end can cause her to start shouting.
When this happens, your wife is beginning to hate your presence in her life. Not only is your relationship damaged, but your image in her eyes has also taken a hit. It is possible to recover from this, but it will take a lot from you.
She Wants to be Away From You as Much as Possible
Regardless of how ‘in love’ you are, everybody needs multiple people in their life. Taking a break from each other by going out with your friends is perfectly acceptable. However, when your wife simply does not want to spend time with you at all, you have a problem on your hands.
One of the signs of your wife wanting a divorce is when she does everything she can to not come home. For example, she may arrive late at night and say ‘I had to stay late at work, and then I went out with some work friends’. Of course, if she is staying away from you for long periods, it could also mean that she cheated on you.
If your wife is adamant about staying away from you, you must make maximum use of the time that she is forced to spend with you. Give her reasons to believe that her marriage is still matters. It will take some time, but it is possible for her to start enjoying being around you again.
She Stops Talking About Her Future Plans
If your spouse does not discuss her long-term future with you, then it is a telling sign that she does not think she will have a relationship with you then.
Try to analyze her behavior at the beginning of your marriage and compare it to her behavior now. If she was always on about what she wants for the two of you but has stopped talking about it now, it is possible that she is planning to leave.
You can also tell if your wife wants a divorce by paying attention to what she says. If she does make future plans but her tone changes from ‘we’ to ‘I’, the writing’s on the wall for you. She is already imagining a future where you are not a part of her life.
A good trick I recommend in this case is to discuss your own future plans with her that include you both. Make her realize that you see the two of you together and happy for decades to come. Once she realizes how committed you are to her and her happiness, she may change her mind about a future without you.
She Stops Fighting at All
We mentioned at the start how your wife constantly fighting with you could be a sign of her wanting to leave. The reverse is also true. If she stops arguing completely, then she has given up on her marriage.
In the case that your spouse was adamant about fighting you just a few weeks ago but has abruptly stopped, divorce could be imminent. You will need to take drastic steps to save your relationship and take them fast.
In general, if your wife was always willing to fight you for what she thought was right but has become submissive recently, it is possible that she is planning an exit.
If you want to save your marriage, you must talk to her and try to get her to open up about what she wants. It will be necessary for you to prioritize her happiness above all else if you want to save the marriage.
Signs Your Wife is Unhappy
It is not necessary that your wife is planning to leave you. It is also possible that she is unhappy with the marriage. This may not cause her to surprise you with divorce papers, but this could become a possibility further down the line.
More importantly, her not being happy will spill over to your life and to the lives of your children. The end goal of a marriage is to find comfort, growth, and happiness with your spouse. If you are not achieving that goal, then there is no reason to stay married.
As such, here are a few signs that your wife is not happy with you. Addressing these signs will allow your marriage to be better. They will also prevent your wife from wanting to leave you in the future.
She Keeps on Telling You to Take Responsibility
Your responsibilities do not end at bringing home a paycheck. Nor do they end at being there for your wife and providing her the necessary emotional support.
It is important that you actively take an interest in the lives of your family. Your wife expects you to do your part in the upbringing of your children, in the upkeep of the house, and in all the other chores that a couple has to do.
If she keeps on telling you to take responsibility, it means that she is unhappy with your conduct. The best way to deal with this is to have an open discussion with her. Divide and share your responsibilities, and hold each other accountable when one of you fails to perform their duties.
She is Never Positive About Anything
If your wife is always grim when talking about the present or the future, it is possible that you are to blame. It could be that your attitude towards her makes her unhappy with her relationship, thus interfering with other aspects of her life.
In this case, it is best to talk to her about this. Ask her how you can do better and make her happy, and then do it. It is also possible that you are not the reason for her outlook on life. There could be another person (e.g. her boss at work), or she could be suffering from clinical depression.
Whatever the case may be, it is your duty to take care of her. If she needs professional help, get her that. If she needs your emotional support, support her as much as you can. Try to keep her stress levels as low as possible and reinforce positive thoughts. If you are always positive, it is possible that some of it rub off on her.
She Finds Emotional Attachment and Support in Someone Else
If your wife is unable to talk to you about her life, then she will start to look towards someone else. It could be one of her female or male friends.
If it’s one of her female friends, then it will not take her long to realize that she is no longer thinking of you as her husband. If it’s one of her male friends, it is possible for her to end up having an emotional affair.
In an emotional affair, your wife will not be physically cheating on you. However, she will find someone to replace you emotionally. Emotional affairs can be very hard to end. In fact, an emotional affair can be the gateway towards an actual affair.
Getting over an emotional affair is very difficult, and it will require effort both from you and your spouse. It is important that you show her that she can trust you with intimate details of her life before things escalate.
