Spotting the signs she cheated on you last night needs to be done carefully. Everything should be in the context of your marriage. It’s as much art as it is science so tread lightly.
“You don’t have to say what you did
I already know, I found out from him
Now there’s just no chance
With you and me
There’ll never be”
“Cry me a river,” by Justine Timberlake, was said to have been inspired by Britney Spears, Justin’s ex-girlfriend. The lyrics expressed a hint of anger coming from Justin after his ex-partner allegedly cheated on him with his choreographer. “Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned.”
Men are seen as natural cheaters, but today women seem to be catching up. In the union of two people, whether it’s by marriage or even through a committed relationship, (we’re not talking polyamory here), the bottom line is that adultery is not welcome, and unfortunately, a happy union is not a vaccine against infidelity.
With the advent of the internet and all those social media apps, cheating has become easier than ever before. A small note here – cheating doesn’t just have to be physical. It can be on an emotional level too, but we’ll talk about that another day.
Signs She Cheated on You Last Night
Note: All the advice here is based on general things I see when infidelity is involved. If you want to talk in more detail about your marriage then click here and tell me what you’re dealing with.
A cheating wife is harder to catch, but like women, husbands also need to learn to trust their gut. If there are signs she cheated on you last night and your instinct is also telling you so, then your woman most likely did. Let’s look at some of the common signs.
- She didn’t come home last night – Let me say that this does not always mean something is fishy. But the red flags should come up if you didn’t know where she was and you couldn’t reach her through the night either. Queries on her whereabouts don’t get you a straight answer. Her replies are either evasive or well-rehearsed, safe, and indirect. She just went off-grid, and by the end of the conversation, you still do not have an answer to “Where were you last night?” That’s one of the most common cheater’s signs.
- She becomes cold and distant – The previous morning she was fine, but after last night, your wife can’t even share the same room with you without hyperventilating. She wants to be far and away from you. She has hundreds of excuses not to talk to you face to face, and if she finally does, she can’t make eye contact. You ought to take those signs as red flags.
- She got you a gift – while this is definitely nice, the alarm bells should start ringing if it is not your anniversary or your birthday, and you don’t recall doing anything to warrant a reward, and you still have a present this morning. It will make you wonder what exactly happened for your partner to get you a gift, right out of the blue, and an expensive one at that. This looks like a gift to make amends coz she’s really feeling guilty; one of the legit signs of cheating.
- She changed in bed – some say that a change in intimacy will mean her wanting less but one of the signs she cheated on you last night is when she has this newfound willingness to make your every sexual fantasy a reality. More intimacy in an otherwise conservative relationship is her way of making it up to you. But as the days go by, you will notice that there will be lesser to zero physical contact. This is a frustrating sign of cheating and can really test a relationship. This is among the signs that make most husbands tick the box.
- She’s always on her phone – even if she is not using her phone, she has it with her at all times since last night including in the shower. Every bleep, notification, or vibration warrants an immediate reaction of stopping anything and everything that she is doing and checking her phone. Most likely, she also placed another level of security on her phone. Aside from the PIN, her fingerprint might also be required. Sure signs that whatever happened yesterday, she is trying to hide it and stay on top of the situation.
- She stopped talking to you – if she’s stopped communicating with you something’s definitely amiss. She still talks to the dog, even to the neighbors, just not to you. She’s starting to shut down and avoid you so she can forget the guilt that’s eating her from last night. She won’t share any details with you, afraid that she may let something slip. Going on mute is one of the signs to watch out for.
- She’s lying to you – it might be contradicting stories about last night, including the who, when, where, and how details, but she’s only telling half-truths. Shirley Arteaga, a certified coach, advised that ‘the human body is amazing in its capacity for discerning the truth in others.’ Of course, there are no physical indications that she’s lying, but your male gut will know if she is, especially if you ask her specific details about the previous evening. Lying is almost required to hide the trail and signs she cheated on you last night.
- She looked different last night – of course, your wife looks excellent but in hindsight, any drastic changes in the way she dressed and carried herself for an evening out are one of the signs she cheated on you last night. There was a need to look her best for someone and if that someone wasn’t you, then the signs will be there. It all starts with makeup, dress, and perfume.
You also might want to see the top 7 things cheaters say to hide affairs.
Cheating in a Marriage
As the traditional marriage vows go “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part…” But the sad reality is that “happily ever after” is mostly for books and movies. And a common factor in most cases is infidelity by the men and quite a few by women too. Let’s just say they didn’t want to be left behind (no pun intended of course).
The Cheating Wife
More women, much fewer wives, are cheating and the reasons for it are downright intriguing (and perplexing).
1. Cheat to Stay Married
Yes, you heard that right! Many women have stated that they cheat on their husbands or on their partner not to destroy the marriage, but to stay in it. What?
Well, according to these women, they love their partners; absolutely no doubts on that front. But, (there has to be one doesn’t there?) there may be some fundamental needs that aren’t being met. These may be sexual, psychological, or emotional, and they look to fulfill one or all of these needs outside of the marriage. Once they’re gratified, many claim that they’re less of a bitch and are even friendlier to their husbands. Ahem, that’s definitely one sign that she cheated on you last night, right there.
2. Cheat to Find Oneself
This is another (incomprehensible in my book) reasoning to be unfaithful. In marriage especially, routines, responsibilities and family get in the way, and life suddenly seems to get staid, but (there’s that word again) apparently it is not the monotony that makes the wife cheat but her wanting to explore herself – the husband and the kids would usually have a set notion about the wife or mother, and this causes the woman to want to cross the boundaries that the family has established. Cheating becomes an avenue for a new identity, an alter ego.
3. Cheat Their Way to Freedom
Strange though it sounds, many women lack the courage to end a relationship. So, they cheat and get caught at it too, so that their significant other would want out. This puts the accountability of the decision on the man, while the woman gets what she wants.
Based on the General Social Survey, 20% of husbands and 13% of wives reported being unfaithful during their marriage. Well, now that it’s confirmed that women cheat too, how do you know you’re not the one being cheated on? The signs are all there if you know what to look for and especially if you are well-attuned to her behavior and traits.
What’s Your Next Move?
The signs of cheating in itself are not full-proof evidence, so, no matter how hard it may be, you need to communicate with your wife, girlfriend, fiancé and be prepared for the answers that she will give you. You can either confront her with the signs that you picked up or leave them well alone until you get solid proof. The choice is ultimately yours.
The signs she cheated on you last night may also serve as a wake-up call for you to identify how you are doing in your part of the relationship. Yes, adultery is 100% wrong but were there possible reasons that could have led her to this?
Regardless of the reasons, cheating in a relationship is difficult to surmount. Exhibiting open communication and honesty are signs that there might be hope after infidelity happens but will you and your ego still be willing to take a “for better or worse” direction with a partner that cheated?
It’s possible to overcome her cheating but it can take a while.
