Help! My husband constantly interrupts me how do I stop him?
Right away I need to say constant interruption can sometimes just be a bad habit he’s picked up along the way (which just takes some practice to stop doing) or it can be a symptom of a deeper problem in your marriage. Either way, this advice should help you figure out the problem and deal with it.
For some, interrupting is an attempt at showing you’re engaged and paying attention. It might be he doesn’t know (or remember) it annoys you and it might be an honest attempt at communicating better. For others, it’s a sign he’s emotionally distancing himself from you.
Once in a while, it might just be excitement or an accident, and we all do it. However, there is a line between acceptable interruption and downright cutting off. If it becomes a consistent issue, it’s something that needs to be dealt with.
Let’s break it down a bit and try to figure how big the problem is, and how to fix it.
What Does it Mean When Husband Interrupts Me?
Obviously, I don’t know you or your marriage so take this advice in the context of your marriage. They’re guidelines that can help you figure out why he’s interrupting you (and then we’ll look at how to stop it). If you want to get more into specific answers take a moment and take the marriage assessment quiz.
- Does he interrupt other people when they’re speaking, too, or does he do it only with you?
- Is he the only one who stops you mid-sentence, or do other people do it as well?
- Are you speaking in a slow and deliberate manner, giving your husband a window to supply his thoughts to help me reach the finish line?
- Do you talk too fast and incoherently that he has to ask what you said or ask for clarification?
- Do you do it to him?
- Is this a new thing?
This isn’t something I can do for you, but take an honest look at how you communicate. Don’t rely on memory (human memory is unreliable) but maybe he just doesn’t catch what you say or genuinely thinks you’ve finished.
If he’s blatantly cutting across you then there are two main reasons.
It Could Be a Bad Habit
It could simply be a bad habit he’s either picked up or had all along and you’re just noticing now. He might be aware of it and just not feel it’s a big deal or even think it’s a sign he’s paying attention in a conversation.
He might be doing it without even noticing and you’re going to need to bring it to his attention (carefully). We’ll get to how to do this in a moment.
It Could Be He’s Cheating or Getting Ready to Leave
Note: This is an extreme. Don’t jump straight to this, but it does need said.
Your husband constantly interrupting you can be a sign he’s emotionally distancing himself and that’s often a sign your husband is cheating (or at least thinking about it).
Serving two masters err mistresses at once may inject excitement into one’s life, in the beginning. However, it eventually takes a toll, even sooner than they expect.
Since cutting oneself in two equal halves is impossible, apportioning time, money, affection, and yes, attention, becomes the inevitable route.
Whether your husband is just flirting with another woman, or he’s engaged in a full-blown affair, it will affect his behavior towards you.
Thus, his constant interruption could mean he’s itching to fly the nest and spend more hours with his ladybird. He simply doesn’t want to talk to you because he wants to talk to her.
On the other hand, guilt could be eating him up, making him toy with the idea of confession. Hence, the interruptions maybe his conscience urging him to take action, but he backtracks and never reaches the spectacular conclusion.
Does your husband always interrupt you, midsentence? Perhaps he thinks you’re done talking, or he cannot follow your train of thought from one topic to another. Difficulty in focusing could trigger it.
If your loved one isn’t in any of the situations described in the preceding sections, be concerned about his health. While tiredness and stress contribute to concentration issues, the problem should be temporary and intermittent. But if it doesn’t go away after a few months, and happens quite often, maybe it’s time to accompany him to the doctor.
Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia, for example, can cause confusion or disorientation. And contrary to common belief, it doesn’t affect seniors only. Many people have been diagnosed with the condition in their mid-30s or early 40s.
How Is His Communication Otherwise?
The first thing to look at is your husband’s communication otherwise. If he’s constantly interrupting you we need to know if he’s just a bad communicator or it’s something else.
If you haven’t already – take a moment to see my guide on communication exercises for couples. Interruption or not, this is one of the best things you can do for your marriage.
Some questions to ask yourself:
- Do his eyes glaze over? Does he zone out?
- Is he impatient when you’re talking? (Tapping or pacing for example).
- Does he ask you questions?
- Does he respond appropriately?
Take the Marriage Assessment
How to Stop Husband Interrupting Me?
If It’s Not Intentional
First up: you’re going to need to be a little patient. It can be annoying but this isn’t the kind of thing that is going to vanish overnight. You’re going to need to help him understand he’s doing it, remind him as it happens and work with him to help him overcome it.
We all have bad habits. Help him to work through this one.
The first possible reason is that interrupting comes naturally to him since he’s been doing it all his life, one that developed into a habit because it went unchecked. You can ascertain this by having casual conversations with his family, friends, and coworkers whenever possible. Slide-in leading questions, maybe even in the form of jokes.
Once you’re done investigating, discuss the problem with your husband. Be transparent about your feelings. Stress the fact that you’re not starting an argument, rather, fixing your bridge of communication before it becomes too broken to repair.
If he agrees with your observation, you can both help each other by coming up with loving reminders that “you’re doing it again.” Maybe each time he interrupts, you can hum a light song that you both love. And if he does it in public, or when you’re with other people, you can look at him with a funny face. These positive stimuli will help reinforce his cooperation.
If He’s Cheating
I do have a more complete guide on getting your husband to leave the other woman, if you have reason to suspect this is happening it’s worth reading. Cheating is probably the most difficult cause to handle if it’s why your husband continually interrupts you. It makes the problem more complicated than just being a communication gap.
Start the process with observation. Make sure that his constant interruption is only one sign of having an extramarital affair. You might have been too busy to notice changes in his body language, routine and physical appearance.
If your scrutiny heightens the suspicion that there’s another woman involved, gather evidence to validate it. Follow him around discreetly, give him a surprise visit at the office, and if you’re comfortable prying, take a peek into his cellphone.
Once you’ve established the affair, have a talk with your spouse. Be calm. Ask questions, allow him to answer, and listen. Keep in mind that your objective now is not to stop his behavior of constantly interjecting, but to save your marriage.
This may be a long, tedious process. But many couples have been fortunate enough to solve it in one sitting. Whatever the length of time it may be for you, the approach is a crucial factor that can make or break your marriage. If you need the intervention of a therapist, go for it.
If It’s You
Early on in this article, I mentioned that you, or the things you do/don’t do, could be the reason why your husband has made constant interruption a habit.
If the guide questions I provided helped your eyes, mind and heart open up to the possibility of the problem being you, then you’ve already solved half of it.
The next step is crucial. You need to work on improving your communication skills. There are three ways to do it:
Privately and on your own. Read self-help books, research online, watch YouTube videos. And practice, practice, practice.
Another option is to seek professional help. This doesn’t have to be with a therapist. You may enroll in speech classes or hire a tutor who specializes in verbal communication.
Better yet, why not enlist your husband’s help? It’s a journey you can take together, which will strengthen your bond and deepen your relationship.
The suggestions and recommendations I give on this website are based on general terms. If you’ve found them helpful, bear in mind that your situation is unique, so act upon them within the context of your marriage. Always do this regardless of the source of any advice.
I strive to offer support for unhappily married people to be able to heal, move on, and repair their marriage. If you need answers that you haven’t found here, feel free to reach out to me.