Learning how to soften my wife’s hardened heart is easier than you might expect, even if things seem rough at the moment. People continuously tend to evolve as time passes by. The same can be said for your wife. For whatever reason, it is possible that she simply is not as affectionate as she was once. Dealing with this can be extremely difficult. Often, what husbands tend to do is to fight fire with fire, and behave in a manner similar to the way they are being treated.
Hardening your heart if you feel like your wife’s heart has hardened is never the solution. More often then not, there are specific reasons why you are being treated the way you are. It is up to you to figure out why your wife’s heart has hardened. Once you do that, you can figure out how to woo your wife back!
I will first take you through some of the reasons why your wife’s heart may have hardened. It could be mistakes you made, or it could be because of something out of your control. After that, I will take you through the process of softening it right back to how it should be.
Why Has Your Wife’s Heart Hardened?
It is important for you to analyze why your wife is acting the way that she does. Remember that the reasons for her behavior could go back years. Love doesn’t just fade away. Instead, it erodes. Here are a few questions that you should ask yourself if you feel that your wife doesn’t share the same feelings for you as she did when you were recently married.
- Have you been focusing more on your work and less on your wife? While work is important, your wife needs to know that she is still your first priority.
- Have you had friendships with members of the opposite sex? No matter what your intentions are, even texting another woman could give your wife the wrong impression about your relationship with her.
- Do the two of you properly resolve your arguments? Fights are a necessary part of marriage. However, storming out of the room during one is a no-go. If the two of you fail to compromise, chances are that this is the reason for your wife’s hardened heart.
- Have the two of you grown distant? Marriage is an evolving union, and the two of you need to spend time together in order to maintain it. Not being with each other will always cause problems.
Note: This advice should be taken in the context of your marriage. If you haven’t already, make sure you take the marriage assessment quiz. By focusing on your marriage, we can get things back on track quickly.
Think About Your Wife’s Behavior
Generally, you should always look towards yourself first when problems in your marriage arise. This is because it is much easier to change your own behavior than to compel your wife to change her’s.
However, you must consider whether the reason for your wife’s hardened heart may be no fault of your own. It could simply be that she has stopped loving you. If that is true, the aforementioned reasons could have contributed to her change of heart.
It could also be that she has met someone new who has made her think again about you. Has she made a new male friend? If she has, then you should look into her relationship with her friend at a deeper level.
Some things that you may want to consider are:
- How much time does she spend with him?
- Does she text him a lot? What do they text about?
- How do her expressions shift when she is texting him?
- Does she treat him better than she treats you?
Finding the answers to all of these questions may be difficult. However, try to find out as much as you can. It could be that your wife is having an emotional affair.
Can I Win my Wife Back?
Definitely! Your wife fell in love with you once, she can do so again. If you’re asking how to soften my wife’s hardened heart’ then you’re already doing more than most, which is just sitting back and hoping things fix themselves. Not a winning strategy.
Remember that you cannot control your wife’s impulses. No human is perfect, and it is entirely normal for her to develop feelings for someone else. Especially if you have been married for a long time.
If you ever feel down in the dumps, just look at the positives. If you are reading this, you obviously still love your spouse. The fact that you want to stay faithful to her and win her back means that you have the right intentions. As long as you manage to convert your thoughts into actions, your marriage will be just fine!
Also, take into account that your wife hasn’t left you yet. If she is still with you, she still believes that there is a chance. Beneath all that hardened exterior, there is still the soft woman that you fell in love with (and who fell in love with you).
How do I Get my Wife Back With a Hardened Heart?
Reconciliation with a hardened wife is difficult. But hey, you managed to convince her to marry you in the first place, right?
Think about how you did that. You not only said the right things, but you also DID the right things. This situation is similar. You need a combination of the right words and the right ACTIONS. In this section, we look at the right actions.
Find The Right Balance Between Work, Hobbies, And Your Marriage
One of the most common reasons for the hardening of the wife’s heart is the husband not being able to dedicate the time required to his wife. Your wife understands that you want that promotion. She also understands that you want it to improve her life as much as yours. However, you must also understand that money and success are not the be-all, end-all.
Divide your time up in an appropriate manner. Make sure your wife gets all the attention she deserves. It is easy to say “You are more important to me than anyone else”. It is much more difficult and much more meaningful to show it, so show it!
One mistake many men make here is to overdo it. Do not smother your wife. Instead, gradually start spending more time with her, and take it from there. It probably took years to harden her heart. It is going to take at least a few months to soften it.
Bring Back The Romance
You do not need to be the fairytale husband that she thought of when she was in her teenage. However, romance is paramount to a happy marriage. Things that may seem insignificant to you, like bringing home flowers, could brighten up your wife’s entire day.
One tip that I repeatedly give to husbands is to think of how you used to treat your wife when you started dating. If your treatment made her marry you then, it can soften her heart now.
Avoid Losing Your Temper
A major reason why your wife’s heart has hardened could be due to her mistrust. Even if you have been completely faithful, your wife may think otherwise. In fact, you may have unknowingly helped her.
For example, imagine you come home from a hard day at work (late because you were working on that promotion). As soon as you arrive, your wife starts questioning where you were. Most couples that have difficult marriages begin to fight at this point. If you do the same, this could be one of the reasons for your wife’s hardened heart.
Instead of losing your temper, understand that it is normal for your wife to be a little suspicious. Imagine if your wife got off work at 5 and arrived home at 10. Wouldn’t you behave the same way? Instead of fuming like an idiot, make an effort to communicate effectively with your wife.
What should I say to get my wife back?
Your words are as important as your actions if you want to soften your wife’s heart. Here are a few things that can help.
Ask The Right Questions
I have repeatedly talked about asking meaningful questions. Instead of asking “How was your day?”, why not ask about a specific part of her day. For example, “How did your presentation go”. Or, “I remember you told me you were meeting Joanna today, how is she? What is she up to? How are her kids?”
There are 5 questions that can save your marriage. These questions are designed to get you talking to your spouse. It is often the small talk that leads to deeper conversations. Perfect the act of keeping your wife engaged in conversation, and you may be able to figure out the secret to softening her heart.
Express Your Love
It is important to remind your wife that you love her, that you are there for her, and that there is no one who can replace her. I previously talked about how she could be suspicious about your faithfulness. It is up to you to constantly reassure her that she is the only woman for you.
This also ties into the part about bringing back the romance. Expressing feelings may be extremely difficult for men, but you have to make an exception for your wife. Letting her know how happy she makes you on a consistent basis can go a long way.
Learn to Apologize
Everyone makes mistakes, and it is important for you to accept yours. Showing her that you know you are imperfect will also show her that you are willing to change. This may cause her to communicate directly with you about her issues with your marriage.
This can be a gateway into important discussions about your future, and could be a stepping stone towards rebuilding your relationship!
Persistence is the key to softening your wife’s heart. No matter how hard it seems right now, there is always a way to make things work. If you ever feel like giving up, or her hardness makes you angry, just remember the good old days. That is what you are working towards. They may seem to be gone right now, but they are just around the corner provided you make the correct decisions.
Healing the Marriage
If you’d like to get more into the details of how to improve things in your marriage, take a moment to tell me what you’re dealing with.