Being in doubt over the infidelity of your spouse is never a comforting experience. One of the worst feelings is when you have a hunch that your spouse is cheating, but you cannot confirm it. Thankfully, hiring a private investigator for such purposes is no longer compulsory. Out guide on how to find out if your spouse is cheating on Facebook should help remove any doubts.
There are numerous ways through which you can confirm if your spouse is cheating on social media. Having access to their phone or laptop can make this process a lot easier. Additionally, you can also ascertain whether they are cheating through their behaviors when it comes to Facebook.
First, let’s take a look at some of the more obvious methods of catching your spouse cheating on Facebook.
How to Confirm Your Spouse’s Infidelity Through Facebook
If you can access your spouse’s phone/computer and all the materials on it, then it will be incredibly easy to tell whether they are cheating.
This section deals with what you should do specifically regarding your spouse’s social media account. This includes places that you should look at and key things to keep an eye out for.
Note: Your reasons to be suspicious and your spouse’s (potential) cheating on Facebook are likely a symptom of a deeper problem and not the issue itself. Take a minute to complete our marriage assessment quiz and we’ll start narrowing down the root problem.
Look for Details on His Profile
Even before you try to get access to his phone, take a look at his Facebook profile. It is almost certain that you are friends with your spouse on Facebook. If you aren’t, shoot them a friend request. They have no reason not to accept it (if they reject your request, that’s an obvious sign that they have something to hide anyway).
Then, watch out for people that you don’t know. Is there someone of the opposite sex that continuously likes (or heart reacts) to their photos? Look at the comments and the posts that they are tagged in too, as that could provide you with numerous clues.
You should also take a look at their Facebook friends list. Unless your spouse has set it to private, you will be able to see if they are friends with someone of the opposite sex that you don’t know. Even if the list is private, you should be able to see it once you manage to access their phone.
Should I Look at Other Social Media?
Definitely yes. If your spouse has other social media accounts, look at them too. In general, younger people tend to avoid Facebook and use alternative platforms such as Instagram and Snapchat for communication. Older people, on the other hand, seem to prefer Facebook as their primary social media platform. In that case, looking at their Facebook might all you need to do to confirm if they are a cheater.
Try to Access Your Spouse’s Facebook Messenger
If you are able to gain access to their phone or laptop, the first place to go to is the Facebook Messenger app. It will have private Facebook messages that you can use to confirm your suspicions of your spouse cheating on Facebook.
If your spouse has been extra careful, then it may be possible that their Facebook Messenger does not contain a lot of intimate conversations. Instead, they only use Facebook Messenger to communicate with their lover about where to meet (or something similar).
In this case, you should still go through their Facebook messages. It is possible that you are able to pick up on certain details. For example, you may be able to determine that your spouse was meeting someone else yesterday evening, even though they said they were stuck at work.
Beware of the Secret Conversation Feature on Facebook Messenger
Remember that Facebook Messenger has a secret conversation feature, that automatically deletes messages after a set amount of time.
Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do about this. Use the other methods outlined here to glean as much information about your spouse’s online presence as possible.
If you somehow manage to get your hands on your spouse’s phone right after they were using them, immediately go to the Messenger app to see if there are any messages there.
Take a Look at Their Activity Log
The Activity Log is a feature that not many people are aware of. If you go to your spouse’s profile, you can check out the Activity Log.
This log has every single thing that your spouse does on Facebook. You will be able to see what they have liked, commented, and reacted to. If they are cheating on Facebook, it is almost certain that they will have some form of interaction with their lover.
Check Other Messenger Apps
Facebook Messenger is not the only way through which your spouse can communicate with their lover. In fact, if your spouse is a serial cheater, they will have specific apps (that may be hidden) for their infidelity. You must find these apps on their phone and go through them. Some of the commonly used apps are:
In general, if you find apps that you do not know of, it is best to take a look. A serial cheater may also be using dating apps, so watch out for that too. I have a specific guide on how to check if your spouse is using dating apps that could be of help here.
Of course, it is also prudent to take a look at their text messages. Although most people do not use them anymore, that is precisely why your spouse may be using them.
Consider Using a Spy App
A spy app is your best bet if you are unable to get your hands on your spouse’s phone. I have previously reviewed a few spy apps, and you should go through them to see if you want to use any of them.
Just make sure that you use a spy app that is trusted and has numerous positive reviews online. You do not want to end up using an app that harvests your data and uses it to cause you damage instead of helping you discover if your spouse is cheating or not.
Behaviors of a Cheating Spouse
Now, let’s delve into some of the trademark behaviors of a cheating spouse. These behaviors specifically relate to your spouse’s use of social media and Facebook. If you find your spouse doing a lot of these (especially if they didn’t use to before), then you have a problem on your hands.
Just remember that it is possible you are paranoid for no reason. Unless you have ample circumstantial evidence that suggests that your spouse is cheating on you, invading their privacy unnecessarily could harm your marriage.
Your Spouse Has Multiple Social Media Accounts
When rummaging through your spouse’s phone, if you discover that they have multiple Facebook accounts, then they probably are trying to hide something from you.
Your suspicions should be amplified if you find accounts under an alias. This means that they are trying to protect themselves and do not want their activities to be discovered.
Of course, if you manage to gain access to their alternative account, you will almost certainly be able to catch them cheating (if they are guilty of it). However, just the fact that a separate account exists that you didn’t know of should be a telling sign on its own!
They Protect Their Phone and Laptop
An obvious one. A spouse that lies and hides things has got to have some ulterior motive. If you are unable to access your spouse’s electronic gadgets no matter how hard you try, it is possible they are hiding something.
Apart from outright asking for access, you could make up excuses to check their phone. For example, telling them that your phone is out of battery and asking for theirs to make a call is a classic move. If they are hot on your tail for the length of your call afterward, then they do not want you looking into their phone.
You Find Them on the Internet Late at Night
You wake up to get a glass of water and you find your spouse on their phone, smiling and chuckling to themselves.
What’s even more suspicious is that as soon as they are aware of your presence, they turn off the phone and turn their attention towards you. In some cases, you might even be able to see traces of guilt on their faces.
If this has happened to you, then it is more than likely your spouse was talking to someone that they don’t want you to know about. They may not even be cheating. However, the person is obviously someone they want to have a connection with, and you finding out would simply lead to problems between the two of you.
They Constantly Use Their Phone
Not only does your spouse constantly use their phone, but they seem to be lost in another world while they are using it.
If you hovered behind them, you may be able to make out the outline of Facebook Messenger, or perhaps one of the other messaging apps mentioned above.
However, your spouse does not seem to care. They are smiling and laughing to themselves, without paying any attention to you or to anyone else in the room.
If this is something that occurs on a regular basis, then your spouse is probably smitten with someone else. Nobody acts like this when they are talking to a friend. Even if there was something funny on their phone, they would probably want to show it to you in a normal marriage. Their avoidance of you and preference of the screen in front of them should tell you all there is to know.