I have dreams about cheating on my husband. What does it mean?
You consider yourself a loyal person and wouldn’t ever dream of cheating on your husband. Well, at least that’s what you used to believe before you started having these dreams where you so comfortably get intimate with another man. What does it mean? Do you not love your husband anymore? Why do you have recurring dreams about cheating on your husband?
Well, Sometimes your dreams are just dreams. They aren’t really revealing your darkest, deepest fantasies. So, while dreaming about another man makes you feel guilty throughout the day, it doesn’t necessarily mean you want to cheat on your husband. In fact, a 2018 study showed that almost 60% of married women dreamt about cheating on their husbands at some point. A cheating dream is normal even when you’re really happy in your marriage.
So, before jumping to the conclusion that you’re a terrible person for having that dream and confessing to your husband, let’s look into the reasons why you might dream about cheating on your husband.
Does this count as cheating? Should you tell him? Does it mean there’s a deeper problem? If you already suspect there’s a deeper problem then make sure you’ve taken the marriage assessment quiz so we can dig in a little deeper.
What does it mean when you are married and dream about another man?
Well, it depends on who you’re with and what you’re doing in your dreams. But what do they normally mean?
If you have a reason to worry (outside of just these dreams) make sure you take our marriage assessment quiz. Maybe there’s something deeper going on and the dreams are just a symptom of something entirely different.
You’re Doing It With a Stranger!
If you dreamt about a stranger whose face you can’t even remember after waking up, don’t read too much into this dream. It can be caused by your increased sex drive while you’re ovulating or expecting your period. I wouldn’t worry too much about it.
You’re Doing It With Your Ex!
Oh no! You’re relieving your past and waking up feeling guilty every morning because of recurring sex dreams with your ex? It is really common and might mean one of the following.
- You were pretty shaken up about the breakup,
- you’ve got unresolved issues with him
- You didn’t really get the closure you needed,
- Maybe he was your first love and you miss what you had with him
- Your husband isn’t fulfilling your needs the way your ex did and you’re craving that.
Don’t worry. This doesn’t mean you want to get back together with your ex. If you’ve been married for quite some time and the passion has faded over time, it means you need to communicate with your husband and spice up your sex life. You’re not missing your ex, you’re just missing the sexy-steamy relationship you had with him.
In terms of unresolved issues, you need to process the emotions you still have for him let it be anger, resentment, or grief. If you don’t heal and have a hard time letting it go, chances are he’ll keep paying you unexpected visits in your dream. Want to stop that? Taking professional help is the best course of action here.
You’re Doing It With Your Boss or Colleague!
While it might make facing them at work really uncomfortable, sex dreams about coworkers are quite common. If you have a crush on your colleague, you can’t blame your subconscious for taking it to the next level. It can also happen when you see something in them that you’d like to possess yourself.
Maybe it’s their unshaken confidence or their ability to work under pressure. What if you’re dreaming of sex with your boss? Before panicking and planning to switch jobs, know that it doesn’t essentially mean that you’re attracted to him that way. It can mean you’re ready to take charge now. His leadership and authority are what attract you.
Whoever you’re cheating on within your dreams, there has to be some more general meaning, right? Let’s look at a few of them.
You’re Not Living up to Your Own Standard.
Maybe you’ve broken a promise or backed out of a commitment. Your cheating dreams might mean that your lifestyle doesn’t really align with your core values and even though you try to believe you’re okay with it, you aren’t. They come from the feelings of guilt from compromising your principles.
It doesn’t have anything to do with infidelity. Is there something you’re feeling guilty about when you’re awake? It can be as simple as skipping the gym for days or leaving your kids alone for too long. If you’re getting caught while cheating in your dreams, you need to clear your conscience by making things right.
You’re Not Putting Enough Effort Into Your Relationship.
When you’re cheating on your partner in your dreams with your boss or coworker with who you spend most of your time, it means your work-life balance is off. You might feel guilty about not spending enough time with your husband. You’re depriving him of your company for far too long and your dream is tipping you off that it’s time to put things into perspective and set your priorities straight.
If you think this might be a possibility and you’re worried about it, it doesn’t take a lot of effort to be more affectionate to your husband.
You’re Unsatisfied in Your Marriage
How is your marriage at the moment? Are you two going through a rough patch? If yes, then maybe you’re trying to take refuge in the arms of this fiercely passionate lover in your dreams who treats you the way you want your husband to love you. Your sex dream may mean that there’s no excitement and passion in your married life and you’re bored.
If you’re continuously dreaming about BDSM and dirty talks which is something you’d love to incorporate in your sex life but can’t because your husband finds them distasteful, your dream means that you’re unsatisfied with your sex life. You need to communicate with your husband about trying new things in the bedroom.
You’ve Cheated or Been Cheated on.
Have you or your husband been unfaithful at some point in the past? If not, were there incidents of cheating in your past relationships? You’re loyal in your marriage and not cheating on your partner now but if you’ve cheated on your ex, the guilt might still be there if you haven’t healed from the trauma of inflicting pain on someone you cared about.
Maybe you’ve violated the trust of your partner or he has violated yours. If you’ve been having recurring dreams of cheating on your spouse may be something is triggering the guilt or trauma of that event. Unhealed trauma can make you experience those events in your dream until you sort it out.
Also if one or both of your parents cheated and you’ve experienced firsthand how that had impacted their marriage and your childhood, you might be worried about repeating their mistake. That might
You can also have these dreams just because you have a harmless crush on someone who is off-limits since you’re married. Don’t underestimate the spicy dinner that you had before sleeping as well. It can mess with your sleep resulting in vivid sex dreams.
Is dreaming about someone else cheating?
Cheating dreams have nothing to do with infidelity as long as you don’t follow through with them. Even though you probably feel guilty about the dreams, in most cases cheating dreams are not about cheating at all. It’s a signal that you need to take a hard look into your suppressed emotions which might not be even related to your marriage or spouse.
Decoding dreams isn’t solid science and even the same kind of sex dreams don’t mean the same thing for everyone. If you’ve been hitting the sheets with someone you know in your dreams and you decided to check on them after that hoping it’d lead to something, that sure doesn’t stay an innocent dream anymore.
But occasional wet dreams are pretty common and don’t really mean anything. But if you’ve been repeatedly having this kind of dream, try to learn what the dream is teaching you about yourself. Are you feeling guilty? insecure? Having trust issues?
Take stock of your relationship and mental health. Stop feeling guilty cause you’re not actually cheating on your spouse by dreaming about it.
Should You Tell Your Husband?
That you’re dreaming about having sex with another man? Hell no! But if you’re having these dreams because you miss the spark you once had and want him to start paying more attention to you, you certainly need to have a conversation with him.
If you aren’t getting any action in your marriage, flirting with a handsome neighbor can turn into something more in your dreams. After all, he noticed your new haircut when your husband didn’t. If you’re stuck in an affection-starved marriage, your dream might be a sign that you need to take an inventory of your relationship.
If you have been contemplating having sex with someone when you’re awake you shouldn’t be surprised to see them in your dreams. But, what if your dreams aren’t stemming from any unresolved conflicts or issues in your relationship and you’re really happy in your marriage? Should you still be worried?
Not at all. Having a little fun in your sleep is not only normal but also totally acceptable. Just relax, kiss your husband good morning, and have an amazing day.