Does your husband have a crush on another woman? Are you being paranoid or could it be true that the amazing guy you’re married to fancies someone else? Do you see a lot of sudden changes in his behavior? Spotting the signs sooner than later will help you thwart his crush from turning into a full-blown affair.
Being married doesn’t necessarily ensure that your husband will never find anyone else attractive. The same goes for you too. As long as he doesn’t act on it, finding another woman beautiful doesn’t mean he finds you any less attractive. Nor does it mean your relationship isn’t as rock-solid as it was before. But, the moment he starts doing something about it, it can hurt your marriage.
To stop that from happening, we’re going to focus on the signs that can definitively tell you if your husband is into someone else and if yes, what to do about it.
How Do You Know If Your Husband Likes Someone Else?
If you’re reading this article, chances are his recent behaviors have already made you suspicious. But, how can you find the bitter truth out? Let’s look into these telltale signs.
He Can’t Stop Talking About/To Her
Someone’s name suddenly keeps popping up in whatever conversation you’re having. He might not intentionally do it but you hear that name quite often. If your husband has always been like this and just likes to keep you in the loop, you needn’t worry about it.
Since he happens to share about all of his female coworkers or anybody he meets for that matter, it’s hard to spot if he’s crushing on one of them. But even that being the case, if a certain name comes up a bit more frequently than others or if his eyes light up when he talks about her, trust your guts and you’d know the difference.
He might be always on his phone texting her or lurking on her social media. If that woman is around him, he’ll go out of his way to initiate a conversation with her. Does she need help with something? Your ‘lazy’ husband might jump into giving her a hand. You ask him about it and he says he’s just being nice while he never does the same for you.
He Suddenly Cares About His Appearance
You’ve been telling him to go to the gym for months and he hasn’t been paying heed. But suddenly he’s too worried about shedding the extra pounds and not having bulging biceps to show off bothers him. While it can be the effect of your constant nagging, it can also happen because he wants to impress someone else.
Maybe he is too motivated to workout these days because the gym’s where he meets his crush. You can see him paying too much attention to his appearance or he changes the way he used to dress completely. He never wears wrinkled clothes and chores like ironing shirts or shining shoes don’t seem to bother him these days.
If he has always been a dapper who’s fashionable and likes to be well dressed, it’s hard to keep track of every nuance in his style. So, dig more before jumping to the worst conclusion. It might be because he wants to look and feel good about himself around you or to make an impression on his clients or boss.
He Acts Like Somebody Else
Your husband couldn’t wait to come home to spend time with you. Now he always has something else to do. It might be because he feels guilty and can’t look you in the eyes. So, he’ll find an excuse to spend less time around you. He might say he’s swamped with work and you barely see him around.
Did he stop picking your calls up when he is out late at night? Does he compare you with another woman? Does he find faults with everything you do lately? If he abruptly stops mentioning anyone at all and his life becomes a mysterious secret to you, that’s not a good sign as well.
Does he get offended easily and pick fights? If he has a crush on someone you know, he might seem overfriendly around her even in your presence. But if you mention her name or talk about cheating, he gets defensive and starts questioning your loyalty instead. Are any of these happening with you? Keep an eye out.
He’s All Over Her Social Media
If your husband is a social butterfly and naturally flirty with everyone, it might not be a warning sign when he comments on another woman’s photos. But, when your guy develops a crush on another woman, he might start leaving his mark on her posts even if he is not that way around you or anyone.
If you have a hunch who that woman is, taking a look at her Facebook or Instagram might help you figure things out. While doing that it’s crucial to make sure that you don’t see things that aren’t there. Because social media connections shouldn’t be taken as an unmistakable sign. But, if his comments are obviously frisky and if he secretly texts her, that means he’s attracted to her.
I’ve looked at husbands looking at other women on social media before. This alone doesn’t mean he’s necessarily cheating or has a crush – but you do need to put it in context of what else is going on.
He’s Being Insanely Secretive
Secretive about what you ask? Anything and everything. But mostly about his phone. He doesn’t want you anywhere near it. You used to answer his calls all the time if he was in the shower or occupied otherwise. Now he doesn’t want you to touch his phone. In the worst-case scenario, your fingerprints or face can’t unlock his phone suddenly.
But, whenever you see him, he’s scrolling down someone’s feed. Ask him about it. If he can’t give a satisfactory answer or gets irritable, he’s hiding something. Talking to someones isn’t a crime. But the moment he starts lying about it, your relationship starts changing for the worse.
While snooping on your husband’s phone is not healthy, if you suspect something is going on having a look before confronting him isn’t a bad idea. You might be wrong and if anything, you’ll feel guilty for questioning his loyalty. Check if he deletes his call logs and messages. Does he avoid taking a certain call around you? Has he been edgy and jumpy lately?
Before coming to a conclusion that your husband has a crush on another woman, openly communicate with him and figure out if he’s dealing with something else, if there’s mounting pressure on him at work or there’s an unresolved issue he has toward you ever since you had a row with him.
What to Do About It?
First, you need to figure out if it’s just a harmless crush or he is thinking of cheating. A study revealed that 41 percent of men thought of cheating at one point in their relationships even though they didn’t act on it. It’s natural for spouses to develop crushes on people outside the marriage. That doesn’t mean your husband loves you any less.
So, there are times when you shouldn’t do anything and let time take its course. Meanwhile what you should do is take care of yourself to show up as the fierce woman he fell in love with. He needs to see that you’re still that same woman behind all your new roles as a wife and mom.
Having said that there are times when you should step in. If your husband’s crush on another woman starts taking a toll on your marriage, if he is obsessed with his crush and starts pulling away from you, spends too much time with another woman while lacking intimacy with you, you can’t let your marriage go down the drain. Let’s see if his crush on another woman is affecting your relationship.
- Is he being cold and distant?
- Does he still initiate sex and shows signs that he finds you attractive?
- Is he constantly lying to avoid interaction with you?
- Have you two been openly communicating and sorting out relationship issues?
- Does he feel ignored or left out?
- Is he getting closer to emotional cheating as he feels that some of his needs aren’t being met?
- Has your marriage turned into a monotonous routine where no fun is left?
If your husband doesn’t share much of his life with you anymore and gets used to doing it with another woman, it’s a sign that he’s walking toward emotional cheating if not a full-fledged affair. In that case, your husband is responsible for drawing the line and dealing with this crush in a way that doesn’t ruin your relationship.
Chances are he might realize that his obsessive crush is getting out of hand and you’ll see him becoming the loving husband that he was again. In that case, don’t do anything unless he wants to let you in on his little secret. Try bringing his focus back on you again. Ask him if there is something he’d like you to do about your appearance or anything.
Lose the ‘mommy tummy’ and start looking good. Not just to make your husband fall for you once again but also to feel good about yourself. But, if you find out that he truly has feelings for another woman and you’re certain that he is having an emotional affair, it’s possible to bring him back. And in case you’re wondering yes it’s possible to get over it.
Tread carefully if you decide to confront your husband. He might get offended that you think poorly of him and you’ll end up driving him away which wasn’t your intention, to begin with. But, you can’t rest unless you know what’s made him change. So, look for the signs and be prepared to deal with whatever comes your way.