Even if your marriage is going great, it is possible for your wife to cheat on you. There are many things that could have impacted her decision to do this. It could be that she simply failed to control her urges, or she had an emotional affair that escalated into a sexual relationship. If you think there is another man in your wife’s life but aren’t sure, here are 10 signs your wife just slept with someone else.
You can get a pretty good idea of whether your wife is sleeping with someone else through her behavior. Her body language towards you, the way she spends her time, and even her appearance can be a sign of her cheating on you. However, you should be careful when looking for these signs. Make sure that you are not paranoid or simply looking for reasons to leave her.
Let’s begin by talking about something that your wife carries with her at all times: her phone.
Spotting the Signs
If you’re looking for the signs your wife has cheated, you probably have a reason to think something isn’t entirely right with your marriage. Have you taken my marriage assessment quiz? Maybe we can deal with the root of the issue.
She is Overly Protective of Her Phone
Although this is more general and may not tell you whether your wife just slept with someone else, it might be a sign of he being in an affair. If she changes her phone password and refuses to tell you, there is a decent chance that she is hiding something on there.
On top of this, even if you do manage to get your hands on her phone, she will stay suspiciously close. This will be so that she can keep tabs on what you are doing.
Lastly, you should keep tabs on whether she is willing to let her phone out of her sight. For example, does she take her phone with her while showering? If you have kids, it is possible that she would let them use it for YouTube or games previously, but not anymore because you may check it when she isn’t there.
She is Constantly Using Her Phone
When she isn’t protecting her phone from you, does she use it a lot more than usual? If she does, it is possible that she is talking to the person with whom she is having an affair.
You are a better judge of your wife’s behavior than anyone else. As such, try to notice how she is when using her phone. Is she excited? Does she smile a lot? If she is cheating on you, she will be unable to control her emotions when talking to her lover.
Pay special attention when she comes home. If she just slept with someone else, then she will almost certainly want to talk to him again. If she spends a lot of time on her phone right after she is home, then she might be cheating on you. The reason for this is that if you really were her first priority, she would want to talk to you after being away from you for a while.
If you go to bed earlier than her, pretend to go to bed and get back up after a while. Is she texting someone? How long does she use her phone late at night? Small things like this can tell you a lot.
She Immediately Showers After Arriving Home
Speaking of arriving home, it is possible that your wife immediately hits the shower. This could be due to personal hygiene, but if she didn’t shower after coming home previously, then this is a sign of her having slept with someone.
She may want to wash off any foreign smell on her body. Having spent years with you, she knows that you would be able to smell men’s cologne or anything similar. As a precautionary measure, she would get in the shower as soon as she can. Of course, a change of clothes would also follow the shower for the same reason.
Another reason she may want to shower is that she feels guilty. She wants to rid herself of the feeling of having slept with another man before she interacts with you.
She’s Unhappy When at Home
If she was with her lover before she arrived home, then it is likely that she will not be happy to be away from him. A new relationship is always exciting (just remember how you felt when you first met your wife), and your wife will show her dissatisfaction with her home life if she is in one.
You can also try taking note of how she is when she is about to leave home. If she is planning to meet the other man, then she will be visibly upbeat. In fact, she may even be nice to you, even if it is out of pity more than anything else.
She Tries to Show That She Doesn’t Care About Your Feelings
Cheating wives usually do one of two things once they get home. Either they completely ignore their husbands, or instantly start nagging and annoying them (in order to start a fight).
Try to see if she is unconsciously drawing comparisons between you and some ‘imaginary figure’. Does she constantly belittle you and talk about the things that you don’t do? If she does, it is possible that there is someone else that does those things for her.
She Has Mentally Checked Out of the Marriage
Although this sign is a bit more general, it can tell you a lot about your wife’s love life. I have previously discussed the signs your wife has checked out of the marriage. Many of them will be applicable to you if your wife is cheating.
Many of these signs are similar to the ones we are discussing here. Just remember that your wife checking out of the marriage does not always mean she is cheating. It is possible that she is simply unhappy. If that is the case, then it is possible to save your marriage. You have to figure out why she finds you inadequate and change yourself to fit her needs (within reason, of course).
Coming Home Late is the Norm
Coming home late sometimes is normal, especially if you are informed in advance of where she is going.
If, on the other hand, she is constantly late and you have no idea why, then she is probably trying to hide something. If your wife is late quite often, then pay special attention to the next sign.
You Catch Her Lying About Her Whereabouts
It’s 7 p.m. and your wife is nowhere to be found. You call her but to no avail. You phone her office and they say she left at 5.
When she finally arrives home and you ask her where she was, her answer is “Had to work late, had this ‘big project’ that needed my attention”. When you tell her that you called her office, she makes an excuse something along the lines of “Oh, Cynthia and I went for dinner and worked at the diner, you know how it is”.
You do know how it is! You know that she probably wasn’t at work. Instead, she was with someone else, breaking her marriage vows.
She Comes Home With a Lot of Bags
You notice that your wife has been going on shopping sprees. She brings home entire bags of new clothes, shoes, makeup, and accessories. It is possible that her spending is not financially responsible, and you should keep a close eye on your joint accounts if this is happening.
More importantly, if your wife is paying more attention to the way she looks, it’s possible that there is someone else in her life.
People changing their appearance/dressing better is one of the surest signs of them wanting to be with someone else. Whether they have succeeded yet or not is another question. Even if your wife isn’t cheating on you, her dressing better may signify that she is available to other men.
On a similar note, she could also try something new. For example, she may change her hairstyle, try a new hair color, etc.
Her Body Language Speaks Volumes
Look at your wife and the way she behaves. Is it different from how she behaved before? Here are a few common signs that your wife is hiding something:
- She blinks unnaturally when talking to you, especially when you ask her where she was.
- She tries to avoid looking at you as much as possible.
- Her body language is closed i.e. crossed legs and arms, shrinking her size as much as possible when speaking to you.
- She appears visibly nervous when you ask her about her day.
What Should I do if my Wife is Sleeping With Someone Else?
Although this article deals with determining whether your wife is cheating on you, let’s take a brief look at what you should do if you find out that she is.
First, you should try to collect as much evidence as possible to confirm your suspicions. Remember that even if she displays many of the aforementioned signs, you could be wrong about her. It is possible that she is going through a mid-life crisis, menopause, or another major change that is affecting her behavior.
Here are four paths you can follow if you think your wife has strayed:
- You could try confronting her without proof. If she does confess, pay attention to how she does it. If she is sorry and wants to make it up to you, your marriage could be saved. If she doesn’t seem to care, she has already moved on from you.
- Encourage her to go to couples counseling. It may not only get her to confess what she has done, but it will also fasten your recovery.
- Try to solve your problems on your own. There is a lot of advice on this website that you can follow.
- If nothing else works, divorce may be your only option.