How To Stop Divorce And Save Your Relationship
How To Stop Divorce And Save Your Relationship
hi this is RP Smith I appreciate you joining me today I wanted to talk to you a little bit about your marriage and you might be facing a divorce that you don’t want and you’re probably wondering if there’s anything you can do to stop it before we get into that though I just want to let you know that I’m not a doctor and I’m not a therapist I’m not even a counselor what I am is just a regular guy was facing a divorce myself a few years ago that I didn’t want unexpectedly I might add and I nearly screwed it up even worse but what happened was and I stumbled upon this almost by accident was something that would not only save my marriage but change my life forever so if you’re facing a divorce that you don’t want you might be wondering if there’s anything you can do to stop it well the reality of marriages or any relationship for that matter is that none of them are perfect and not all of them last forever so why does some marriages fail while others succeed obviously every relationships different and there’s a variety of reasons why a marriage can fail but I think what it ultimately boils down to is that when the two of you were dating before your marriage you both created an environment you both had a hand in creating an environment that you enjoyed being in you enjoyed being in that environment so much that you wanted to be with each other forever and and stay in that environment but what can happen over time is that that environment can change it can either change for one of you or or maybe even both of you and when that happens if one person or both spouses are in it suddenly in an environment that they no longer want to be in that’s when divorce happens so if your spouse wants a divorce and you don’t can you do anything to stop it well when I talk about the environment that you created that caused you to want to be married after you get married you also have a responsibility to your spouse to continue to nurture that environment that originally attracted you to one another and when things have reached the point where one partner wants a divorce the other partner all too often will respond in a negative way or react in a negative way and that actually has the effect of pushing the the partner or spouse away even further what do I mean by a negative reaction well the most common ones would be things like crying begging and pleading promising to change anger arguing trying to make the other person jealous make them feel guilty but what happens is a result of those reactions is they actually have the exact opposite result of what you probably intended your natural reaction was to to try to do something to get them to stay with you but the result is the exact opposite you actually succeed in pushing them further away so then the question is can you make your spouse love you or make your spouse want to stay with you if they are if they’re asking for a divorce and I’m sorry to say but you know the answer really is no you can’t make them do anything but what you can do is you can love them enough to let them go now there’s there’s an old saying and it’s probably almost a cliche now but it’s something to the effect that if you love something let it go if it comes back to you it’s yours if it doesn’t it was never yours to begin with and at the risk of sounding cliche it’s really true if you love them enough to calmly respect their decision to move on and give them the space to do it amazingly enough this quite often has the effect of making them want to stay because by doing this you create an environment that encourages them to re examine their decision and actually want to stay with you but when we push back with the negative reactions that we talked about earlier the more you push back the more they pull away so love them enough to calmly respect their decision to move on and give them the space to do it because the more you push back the more they pull away now obviously this can be a very scary proposition it’s difficult because it seems counter and to ative to our natural desire as humans to try and hold on to the people that we love and the things that we hold dear and this seems like the complete opposite but it is a very powerful and very important first step that’s going to give you the greatest chance to prevent the divorce now what do you do next let me ask you are you ready to take action the things that we just talked about are gonna put you in a very powerful and resourceful state but the next step would be to follow a very specific action plan there are specific things you need to say specific things you need to do in specific ways that you need to behave in the hours days and weeks of this marital crisis if you are ready to take this action I would really encourage you to go to help save a marriage blog spot. com and obviously the link in my video here is not live so what I’d like to encourage you to do at the end of the video is click on the URL link in the box right next to the video there should be a place for you to click on help save a marriage blog spot. com you’ll find everything you need there and especially check out the the approach that I’m talking about this has about a 90% success rate and it is absolutely transforming marriages even when one partner wanted a divorce the thing I want to stress to you more than anything else is you can absolutely stop your divorce and you can have the marriage you’ve always wanted my best wishes to you and your spouse you..